Toronto Star Sun Oct 20/96 by Tom Harpur Religion must challenge hatred of gays Recently a sad story has come out of a centre for the study of suicide at the University of Calgary. We long suspected the truth now being conclusively confirmed: young gay men are far more likely to try to kill themselves than heterosexual men of the same age. So great is the self-hatred, depression and despair kindled by discovering their sexual orientation that gay men between 18 and 27 are 14 times more at risk of self- destruction than "straight" peers. Earlier studies estimated that more than one-third of teens who commit suicide are struggling with sexual orientation. There is an incredible suffering and tragedy going on in our midst, and one of the most ironic, poignant, aspects of it is the extent to which rigid religion is implicated in the pain and loss. Progress has been made. But, the homophobia and hatred with which our society is saturated is still reinforced and even fed in some cases by the very institutions supposedly dedicated to compassion, and caring for all. How can this be? I think I know. When I was ordained in the late 1950s, I believed with the Christian majority of the time that homosexuality was sinful. I held to this on the basis of the Bible, religious pronouncements, and the prevailing "wisdom" of the church circles in which I moved. On this, Catholics, Protestants and all those between stood united. Others faiths did too. Conversion to Christ, prayer and self-discipline, and some form of "Christian therapy" were involved in this form off "perversion." If pressed about love of neighbor, I would have fallen back on the old nard (still heard today) about loving the sinner while hating the sin. Looking back on it all, I'm struck by glaring weaknesses in that position. First, like most believers, I was appallingly ignorant of homosexuals and homosexuality. I knew nobody who was admittedly gay or lesbian and had done no reading outside of approved books on sex. This is painful to admit, but it's true all the same. My knowledge of the relevant parts of the Bible was limited to a fairly literalistic, traditionalist interpretation. I shared the tendency - still rampant - to take what Leviticus or Paul had to say about the topic totally out of context. I had no basis upon which to judge the practicality of the conversion-prayer-discipline "cure" to which I officially subscribed. I had never seen it tried, never mind successful. In any case, in a multi-faith society, the attempt to solve a problem that knows no denomination but is wholly catholic (universal) by an "our way is the only way" approach was no answer at all. I never had a son, but if I had had one there is no way he would have been able to have come to me for acceptance once he knew what I really believed. It grieves me to write this. It grieves me to think that I may have had students or parishioners who could not share their truth with me for the same reason. Most painful of all is the awareness that to the degree that i held and taught such beliefs, I helped foster and continue the climate of hostility and contempt that weighs so heavily upon young gays as they try to come to terms with their sexuality today. I had much to learn. Eventually, I came to see that the Old Testament set out taboos against same-sex relations because of the deep connection between homosexuality and idolatry in pagan rituals and because of Israel's constant,m strategic need for increased population I also saw the huge hypocrisy of insisting on taking a few verse of Leviticus literally while ignoring all the rest. In re-reading St. Paul's words about same-sex acts in his letter to he Romans, it became obvious that he, too, was thinking about rites in pagan temples and that in reality he had no idea of what is now called "constitutive homosexuality," that is, an orientation one has from earliest awareness. Paul thought it was a matter of choice. I came to know more homosexuals, including clergy, and I have yet to meet one who chose to be so. Again, it seemed a vast hypocrisy to ignore Paul's views on women or slavery but to insist his was the final "word of the Lord" when it came to sexuality. The overall message of the Bible about the uniqueness an value of every person became much more important o me than any one lesser theme. Loving became a more important ethic than judging. Jesus' silence was louder than Paul's opinions Religion must teach and practice acceptance of one's sexual orientation and how to live it in fidelity and love. The hatred of society for gays must be challenged. For too long it has been subtly blessed.